Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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