I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
