What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
