ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
