So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize