I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
