He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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