Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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