To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
