You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
