dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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