So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
