someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize