Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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