How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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