you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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