let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
