Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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