I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
