did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
