I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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