I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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