So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
