let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize