Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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