Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
