I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
