Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
