I think I died a long time ago.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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