this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
