just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
