You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
