no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
