Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
