just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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