You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
