its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
