please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i love accidental penises.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
