He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize