someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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