I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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