eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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