Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
should my penis look like a turkey
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize