She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
