Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize