thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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