mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
