I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
