Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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