if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
