I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
