the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
