I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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