You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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