fuck your aforementioned shoe
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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