I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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