You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
