I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
