I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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