I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
