If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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