Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
