Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
