Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Hoffs hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.

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(847): View more from Illinois

another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with

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(205): View more from Alabama

Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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(301): View more from Maryland

All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!

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(330): View more from Ohio

I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...

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(254): View more from Texas

I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.

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