FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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