she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
